Stage Fright (Corona’s Birthday – Part II)

As i said in my previous post, one of the reasons I drastically slowed down these diaries was the return to normal we experienced in the summer. For us, it started with a small gathering in front of the Au Topsi Pohl bar where we usually go to see (or play) gigs. This was on the 19th of May. They opened for one afternoon, selling drinks from behind a table in front of the bar, and letting people socialise (we never measured the importance of this word before that very day) with proper distancing on the sidewalk. Many people came to meet there, mostly musicians and music lovers from the Berlin improv microcosm. It was quite something to see again people we knew, and I think we all were not sure about how to behave in society.

Four days later, Racha and I went for our first visit in someone else’s flat. It was at Tony and Magda’s – we actually love these people (they know we do, and I do not need to make a public declaration, but I am putting it here to check if they are following the diaries) – and again it took us time to adjust to being together again.

Two weeks later, the same Au Topsi Pohl organised the first post-lockdown concert in Berlin, with the Sawt Out trio (Michael Vorfeld, Burkhard Beins and yours truly) playing five short sets for a revolving audience of ten people. It was quite an experience! The week after, the same Sawt Out went on the road for a gig in Bonn. This one happened in a church, in front of 6 persons and 4 cameras. It was my first ever live streaming concert (it is still online and you can watch it here), and it reinforced my conviction that “live concert” and “streaming” should never be used in the same sentence.

On the road to play the gig, I took some notes for future posts that I never wrote/drew:

The second idea (stage fright) was left incomplete, but the most important part is there: at the Au Topsi Pohl gig from the week before, I realised for the first time the danger that the trumpet represents and the paranoia it creates around me. Even though I sat at the extreme back of the stage for that concert, I could still feel that each time i press the water keys to empty the trumpet, a silence even more religious than the usual berlin audience silence would reign in the room. My self-consciousness didn’t get any better since, except when i am playing a live streaming gig (!) with the cameramen at safe distance.